When The World Turns... Roll With It!

Well, it has been a mamouth couple of days! I can tell you! But in all honesty, I did wake up yesterday morning a new me. Or, should I say, the old me again! I was still feeling worried and aprehensive the yesterday, and in a way, I still do I suppose. But things are a million times better than they have been. I actually got up and went out yesterday, and I felt like I was making steps in a positive direction for a change rather than treading water, cos lets face it, I was drowning.I went of my own accord and bought a couple of positive thinking books from waterstones. I know a book isn't going to cure all my problems, and especially not overnight, but it's a start, and I'm willing to try anything right now. I went out the house yesterday on a bit of a mission. I had this job I wanted to apply for. The first one I've seen in a while that I've thought 'I really want to do that'. And I also had big plans of getting mine and FTs relationship right back on track... so I was off on a mission!
After getting the books, I went to look for a top to try and make myself look sexy and desirable. But I couldn't find one, which I was extremely disappointed about to be honest. From there I went and got tickets to see Memoirs of a Geisha for my lady. I know she wanted to see it. And to be honest, I think she thinks I don't really listen, cos the times she has said 'I want to see this or that' and we never end up going for one reason or another. I had no desire whatsoever to see this film though, I thought 'it's not my film in the slightest', so that's probably why we don't tend to go to see certain films, cos one or the other of us isn't keen. But I wanted last night to be all about my lady. I wanted her to feel the most special, loved person on the planet, which she really really is, but I've had my head too far up my own arse to show her that. And the old me never let anything stop me from spoiling her. And that me is back again ;). I don't care if I get £500,000 into debt, if there is something out there my lady wants and I can give it to her... then I will! It makes me sound a complete knob that I went through a stage that I was more concerned with conserving money and stuff rather than living for the moment. The real me is the more extravagant romantic gesture type, whatever the cost, and I lost that for a while... but it is back with a vengeance right now! So I had her flowers delivered yesterday, with a giant balloon that says 'I love you'. Then I took her out for a meal. And I can't believe she wouldn't have pudding or a cocktail! I wanted to really treat her, but the diet won :(. And then I took her to see the film, which lasted about 2 and a half hours! In saying that, I didn't hate it like I thought I would. It was nice to watch something I wouldn't normally bother with. I love that about my lady. I learn and experience so many new thingsby being with her, and I didn't even realise that until last night! So, apart from my new experiences, what more could possibly be amazing about going to the cinema with the woman you love? ... Oi... I know what you're thinking... and it wasn't anything like that! It was far too packed ;). But we just held hands all the way through. And I mean ALL the way through. And I love that. It makes me heart feel complete and warm and just right with life!
The extents I went to to impress this lady... I even went and had the car washed, cos I didn't want her getting in a dirty car on her night of spoiling!
And when we came home I went and gave her a massage to southe all her aching limbs. Now I'm crap at massages, and it was the first time in 15 months that she properly admitted that I had no idea what I was doing. But I think in the end, when she was pointing me in the right direction I think she got some benefit and relaxation out of it! That is another aspect I fully intend to improve! So she'd better get used to me having my hands on her, so I can practice, and hopefully she'll be having amazing massages in no time :).
After that, we settled down and snuggled and held hands some more and watched 2 episodes of lost! Yes... 2 episodes as the first didn't finish in a 'satisfactory place' :). I love this woman :).
I've not really done much today. We haven't had make up sex yet, so I've had a bugger of a headache, which is due to withdrawal symptoms from not having her naked body to lavish my attentions on! Although I intend to take full advantage later ;). In saying it's been a non eventful day, I did go to the job centre and get some details of jobs to apply for, which I will ring round tomorrow, and I did submit the application of the job which I really want! I also went with the mrs to get her signed up at the gym (of which I am very jealous), and to hand in an essay, so it was a very productive and promising day all in all! HeeHee :)