Someone... help! The wind is slowly killing me!

Well hello there again dear journal. I would have updated this last night... but chance would have been a fine thing! It seems the wonderful site managers of livejournal were doing some much needed maintenance, which prevented me from viewing any journals, let alone sign in and update my own... grrrrrrr.
Rant over? ... So now we can get on with the show!Well, one og the 'hilights' (which is most certainly a very low point, may I add) of the past few days is my irritable bowel syndrome (and I can hear the 'eeewwwww, too much information from here), but it really isn't like that at all! I'm calling it IBS without a doctors diagnosis as I don't give a fuck what they say... I know there is something wrong with it! It's simply a case of trapped wind in my stomach. Yet when I say trapped wind it like completely inflates me stomach like a balloon and gives me absolute agony! And this has been going on for 3 days. Also I have a complete inability to burp! I know to the rest of the world that sounds weird, but I never ever burp. I don't know how, and I can't! I have tried everything, but there is no civil way of getting rid of that wind! So I live in agony with it... because stupid tablets like Deflatine and Windeez that say they 'gently disperse trapped wind' are a pile of shite and a waste of money, as they do nothing of the sort! Not when taking the recommended 2 tablets, and not even when taking 4 instead, just to see if that has any effect! I've had this problem since Wednesday, and it's now Saturday! Me thinks if it carries on like this, that a little trip to the doctors on Monday will be happening, as it's just getting ridiculous now! I think I've pretty much tried everything, but if anyone has any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated!
Apart from that, I've been trying to get on with my life as normal. Glancing round on the internet and in the new scientist etc to see if there is any form of employment even remotely applicable to my degree. But everywhere seems to want some form of experience or further education! I am quickly learning that this is the problem with the world of employment! And I still haven't heard anything back from the job I applied for at the blood donor centre. Which I hope I do, cos it seems just ideal for me! So fingers crossed!I went to the gym with FT yesterday. She had her induction, and we said we'd go swimming when she came out, although I was a bit aprehensive with my frequent bouts of shooting pain in the stomach region, but I did want to get off my arse and do some form of exercise! I'm not allowed to use the gym while she's in there, which I probably would have done that too if permitted! I could have quite easily spent an hour on the rowing machine! But they want £200 off me for that privelidge. So, for the moment at least, they can go fuck themselves if they think I can afford to be paying that! But their leather sofa's outside as as much an attraction as the gym itself. So while FT was in the gym, I was sat on a lovely leather sofa, which I sunk into, and started reading one of my positive thinking books. Then, after about 45 minutes, the comfort of the sofa got the better of me, and I just wanted to go to sleep in it! I was quite pissed off that people were walking to and fro all the time, as I couldn't even doze properly, incase I started snoring like a bitch and embarassed myself stupid. Anyway, by the time FT had finished in the gym, the pool was absolutely rammed, and I hate swimming when you're harassed by idiots who follow you round the pool, and plus I was hungry, so we ended up not going for a swim :(.
As a side note to this though, she had had a proper workout in the gym and not just an induction, to which end she was looking a little sweaty and incredibly sexy! mmmmmmmmAs I have already hilighted, I tried to spend a fair amount of time trying to update this journal then... to no avail. So most of the early evening was spent just faffing about on the computer checking emails and persisting with livejournal. I was fairly bored until my gorgeous lady came to lie on the bed before having a shower. I was anything but bored then ;). An hour later she eventually went for her shower. Then we both ended up going out for a drink with our respective friends. I suppose I was fortunate enough that Doofus wasn't up to anything, or I know I'd have sat in feeling all resentful and clock watching. But it helped that I was out, and doing something else. I suppose I was feeling a little upset by the situation, cos I'm trying to avoid situations at the moment where I expect too much, until I can get a hold of this positive thinking and not take everything too personally. But miracles don't seem to be happening overnight, as much as I'd like them to, and as much as I'm trying, I still am finding things difficult, but I know I need to give FT space to sort things out for herself. Which might not be the best thing for me, but will be what's best for our relationship.
Things felt a little weird when we both got home. I know we've talked and sorted stuff out since Monday, and progress is being made by all, but I think still, emotionally we still a bit all over the place. We both know what we want, and that things are good between us again, but emotions were so high on Monday, it's proving a bit impossible to just shut them down without sorting stuff out in your own head. There's a reason why I'm getting freaked out at every little thing with us right now, and that's cos I haven't delt with the emotion of Monday night properly. And also because I'm so tuned into FT, that I instinctively know when something isn't quite right with her. I think that scares her a bit, and makes her feel like I'm always expecting something of her. Which I'm not. I don't mean to push her or anything, I just love her so much that I just want to make everything alright. So we spent like 3 hours into the early hours of the morning just talking. Well, I spent most time listening really. And that really helped. In a funny sort of way, it made me deal with things more, and see things in more perspective, as I felt loved and respected and trusted that she was talking to me. We've always said that we can talk to each other about anything, and that we're open with each other, which is one of the things so important to our relationship. And last night, it just felt that by talking and listening to each other, we reconnected in another way. Deep down, I know we'll be ok. There is far too much love and connection and spark there to just throw it all away. But we just need some time and space. And I really need to make progress with these positive thinking books, so that I don't feel that every little thing is an assault on my character. So, after a complete few hours sleep, and a potential panic in the night that she had slipped out of our bed while I was sleeping, I wake up this morning feeling more refreshed and optimistic than I have in days. I still don't quite know what to do for the best, as I know she needs space and time. I suppose I'll just be me. I'm always gonna be here. To love and support her, to listen, to hold her... none of that will ever change. Never. I love her too much for that!