Hmmm, A Medley of Hilarious Moments...

Well, I think I have some things to elaborate on after the last journal entry by my dearest. Yes, I went out for a 'drink' with Doofus on Friday night. I can't remember the last time I went out for a drink proper... I didn't take the car, and I think the last time that happened was the January Climax! Anyway, the reason behind it was not to get pissed out of my head, but to sample some of the strawberry cider at the Dev Cat (which ordinarily would place me over the driving limit). So we went there first and had a pint of the cider each... only it wasn't the fizzy kind, and mine went down a treat, so I had to finish Doosus' pint off too. Well then, the Dev Cat started to get a little busy, so we headed off for somewhere a little more friendly and quieter to have a chat and some more to drink. Well, we were walking round, progressively furhter into town, and were thinking 'where the hell can we go that isn't gonna be rammed on a Friday night?' Then I had a thought... 'ah ha, let's go to the Lion's Lair!' I was muchly excited then, after having a drink especially, but the Lion's Lair is like a new gay pub that has opened up and as yet, me and the mrs haven't been, and I was itching to grace it with my presence. It's not a huge place, and it was reasonably quiet, we got a table and there was music, but it was quiet enough to be heard over. I just thought it had a lovely atmosphere! And, well, they sold corona, so I was in my element! I don't quite know what happened then, cos three drinks later I was well, more than tipsy shall we say, and was unable to walk in a straight line! My lady rang me whilst at the pub, and I remember telling her I love her lots while I was in the toilet, leaving Doofus in need of the loo back at the table. So, after chatting to my beloved briefly, and of course warning her that I was gonna be quite drunk when I got myself home, I went back to the table and finished my drink. I could have stayed and had more to drink, but I wanted to catch the bus home (how wise was that I wonder now when I look back, but I got off at the right stop ok!). So we had to leave slightly before 11 to ensure I caught the bus before they stopped... I refused to catch a cab cos they're too damn expensive when I can pay £1.50 and have a 5 minute walk! Doofus ensured I got safely on the bus, and it felt like it was moving, even when it was still at the stop! But as I said, I managed to get off at the right stop! And then began the walk down our road. Which, I hasten to add, isn't the smoothest of roads... so in a drunken state, I kept tripping up paving stones, and wobbling from car to wall all the way down, eventually ending up in the bush of next door's front garden! I didn't fall over, just walked into the thing, and it was a lot softer than the stupid orange transit van they have parked outside! At least the 101 dogs didn't bark! Yes, you heard right, we live next to something out out 101 bloody dalmations! So I eventually gets to the door, and wisely didn't bother to search for my keys, deciding to buzz the intercom instead. So I stood there for a sec, looking at the button for number 3, but I was swaying so much the finger was moving from button 2 to button 4! I did manage to press our intercom though, and stood there waiting for my beloved to answer. I had it all prepared what I was gonna say, I had rehearsed it all night whilst tipsy. I was gonna press the button and say 'do I live here?' Only when she answered the intercom it all went to pot, and I didn't end up saying that at all! She said 'hello' (probably knowing it was a drunken me, to which I replied by getting down on one knee and saying 'Bunches, will you marry me?!'
And the response was 'the doors open darling'. What a pleb! I can't believe I said that! Not cos I don't mean it. We talk about getting married, and how when I can get enough cash together to buy the most god damn amazing ring that money can buy, and I'll ask her to marry me properly. And I don't want anything to detract from that moment! So like a twat I propose in a drunken state on the doorstep over the intercom! In the cold light of day I'm mad at myself for doing it, as I didn't want it to happen like that! Now I feel incredibly stupid! So I eventually pushed the door and came into the building, finding my way to the flat door, and decided to lean on it and wait for my lady to open the door and give me cuddles. Seeing as I'd only had huggles much earlier that morning, I was in much need of them! So when my lady eventually opened the flat door I burst through it and landed on top of her literally. Then, I don't know how, I ended up leaning on the wall behind the door on the floor and sitting there for a while whilst my lady kept disappearing to put the kettle on, and coming back to check on me! I don't know how she managed it, but she eventually got me in the lounge, sitting on the sofa. At which point I proceeded to throw a pair of her clean knickers across the room, and then crawled on the floor on my belly to retrieve them! I don't know what possessed me... I just think I kept insisting on having cuddles, to which my lady refused unless I drank the large mug of coffee she made for me! I remember all she kept saying was 'come on, big gulps, a bit more', to which my response was 'I only have a little mouth, full of big bad words'! But in the end I drank the coffee as fast as I could without being sick! So then we headed off into the bedroom where my lady undressed me, and we ended up having naked cuddles! Which was a bonus, as I would have been satisfied with cuddles, but naked ones... WOW! By that point, and especially after resting on the bosom of my beloved, I sobered up substantially! And before we both knew what was happening, I was lying there in her arms, surrounded by her naked body, and we both got completely horny! And then I had a flash thought of 'oh shit, I've had a drink, I'm gonna be crap tonight, and she'll be unsatisfied'. But with every second that we kissed and touched, I seemed to sober up more, and she seemed to really want me to make love to her, and then all I could think about was enjoying her body, and making her feel good. We ended up having amazing sex, and it was unbelievable making love to her. I felt her come, and it was so amazing, words could not describe! And then I was so horny and turned on you would not believe! But I knew as I'd had a drink there was no way on earth, no matter how amazing sex with my lady is, that I would be able to come! I hear people say that alcohol makes sex better, but I just can't understand it! It makes me and my clit all numb and just feel weird, so it doesn't matter how turned on I am, there is no way on earth I'll be able to come! So we ended up snuggling up together in bed, naked and drowsy, with me a little frustrated, but under the notion that I would be fully satisfied in the morning when we woke up! And in the morning, I wasn't disappointed! We had a relative lie in, and it was just nice waking up when we were both good and ready, and neither of us having to rush out of bed to do something! So we just lay there, and cuddled. Me feeling a little hungover, but not as bad as I have done before! I think the coffee really helped! From naked cuddles, we ended up again, having mad passionate sex, and it felt so good to feel her like that. I felt complete, and loved, and wanted and needed. The connection was electric, and after a night on a bender, to be brought home, and back down to earth with the feel and touch of my loved one, there is nothing I wanted more on the planet. It was magical! After more closeness and naked cuddles in bed, we ambled up together and got ready, as Doofus was meeting us and coming to Asda shopping with us, as she needed to get some food like FT and I for our flat. She arrived slightly later than expected as her dopey boyfriend had departed to work with her purse in tow, so she had to come via there to collect her purse. Then she had a sandwich and crisps here (dutifully eradicating the sin that is cheese and onion) before we departed to the supermarket. What is it with idiots on a packed Saturday afternoon at the supermarket that think it's ok to take up a disabled bay even if they don't have a badge cos they're sitting in the car?! Morons! There aren't many disabled bays in the car park, but they are a damn site nearer to the store than other bays, and they're there for a reason god damn it! Makes life a hell of a lot easier when trying to unload a full trolley! But with all the useless turds in those bays, I had to park in an ordinary bay, scowling at the bastards as we went into the store! Then the store was packed, and loud, so impossible to communicate with my lady as we were shopping. But none the less, we tried to converse over what we needed and what we didn't! Only Doofus seemed to finish shopping when me and my lady weren't even half way round, and was trying to hurry us up. Which both of us ignored as it was stressful enough shopping on a Saturday afternoon without the added stress of being rushed! We eventually finished and dropped Doofus off at hers before heading home and putting our shopping away! I was feeling a little fragile through over exertion and the hangover, so I had some lunch with my lady wonderfully made for me, and then I thought it best to go out again as the fresh air might do me good. So I departed to the local bookshop, changing the book I'd bought for my lady which I thought might help her with her course (which she didn't need - that'll teach me to interfere) for a book which contains the story of Brokeback Mountain. At which the lady in the shop informed me it was part of the big gay read (after I'd explained the mis-hap of the book for my girlfriend's course) and it was on promotion, so instead of £1 extra, I only had to pay 1p! So I walked out the shop smiling and feeling good! Any hoo, this gave me a great incentive so I thought! Oh yes... I'm setting myself a task or challenge or whatever you want to call it, but I think it's a blinding idea! I'm not much of a literary genius and reading is something that I rarely do unless I'm in the mood, as much as I would like to do more! So I've decided that I'm going to read if not all, at least half of the books on the big gay read! I feel that it's my duty as I've never read any gay literature before and it's something I really want to do! So I'm all excited and empassioned now! Woo hoo... go me!!!! From the book store I went to the cinema to get tickets for a showing of Derailed for me and my lady in the evening. I needed to get petrol for the car anyway, and the cinema queue can be an absolute nightmare on a Saturday night, so thought I may as well go early and get the tickets to save queuing later that night. And then from there went on a search from some new cherry flavoured diet coke, as I really wanted to try it! And plus, it would be cheaper to take drinks with you to the cinema than buy them there, when there isn't a lot of variety anyway! That is one issue I have with cinemas ins Sheffield... they have a crap selection of drinks (no ice blast for example unlike those near me in London). Their sweet popcorn tastes like they've forgot to add the sweet! It has no flavour! And lastly, they don't have a Ben & Jerry's counter to sell Ben and Jerry's ice cream, which is the best invention on the planet! I've visited they factory in Vermont New England, and it is ace! I'm a huge fan! Cherry Garcia and Chocolate fudge brownie all the way! But at least they sell Hargen Dazs, which is a small consolation. So from the cinema I returned home to get some tea before having to get ready to head out for the film itself. Only, I returned home to find my lady extremely horny! And trying to rip my clothes off (and get me to rip hers off) literally as soon as I walked through the door! I was muchly amused, as usually the story goes that when I'm that horny, she turns me on and makes me worse, leaving me incredibly frustrated for when we go out, and doesn't have me until we get back. So I thought we could have some fun here, and tried the same approach. Which I did achieve, as we ended up grappling and play fighting with passion and sexual tension flying round the room for ages, it must have been on and off for at least an hour. It was amazing. Only I didn't escape unscathed, as by the end of it, I was as frustrated and horny as I have ever been in my life! There is something incredibly horny about this woman when I'm pinning her down on the bed and have her between my legs, and I can almost feel her throbbing clit beneath me! She drives me insane! But I was resigned to the fact that she was just as horny and turned on as I was! And the next thing I know, we were rushing to get ready to go out. To which effect, I wanted to wear something I knew she'd love me in... So I opted for one of the thongs that she bought for me last weekend underneath a long skirt, which I know she loves me in. Now I never wear skirts, well, rarely anyway. So when I do, I usually get a good reaction! And I must have been feeling brave to wear a skirt and sandals in the freezing of winter!
Anyway, the skirt had the desired effect, as FT kept trying to see what I was wearing underneath it in the middle of the cinema! But seeing as we were a little later than planned, we ended up sitting at the front in full view of the cinema. Which was a shame, as had we been sitting at the back, I'd have let her do a lot more than look at what was underneath the skirt! But we had to content ourselves in with the film. Which in my oppinion, deserves a lot better ratings than its had, and should have had a lot more hype! For anyone that hasn't seen it and gets chance, go and see it! It's brilliant! Twists and turns all the way through! And you don't feel as though you've been in there that long! Go see that film! After the film however, we wasted no time in driving home, as both of us were about at our wits end with horniness and wanting each other! We came in and locked the door, and wasted no time in heading straight for the bedroom. Now this is where the subject of this entry will make the most sense. If anyone has seen the 40 year-old virgin, it was like something out of that! I think in our need and haste for each other, and all the horniness that was clouding the room, there were a series of moments which we will look back on and chuckle! As I have explained, the thought of me in a skirt and something unknown underneath, was something which has appeared to dominate FT's thoughts all night, and back at home was no exception. She took great time and care and consideration with gently pushing my skirt up to feel what was underneath, and it felt amazing and out of this world, feeling her soft hands and lips kiss my legs as she worked the skirt up to discover my thong. I was seriously tingling all over, feeling so special and connected. She was kissing me in all the places where my body ached. It was like she knew where I needed to be kissed, and how I needed to feel her, without me having to say a word. It was incredible. Out of this world. The connection was so strong, and just keeps getting stronger! I was in a land of euphoria, where nothing in the world mattered apart from the touch and feel of my beloved! And when she'd had enough of faffing around with the skirt still on, she decided to take it off. She found the zip at the left hand side, which can be a bit tricky, but she stared to slide it down ok, so I relaxed back on the bed. Then all of a sudden, the zip got stuck and she paused. Well, that was followed by a complete scream and yell from me. FT backed away from the skirt repeating 'oh my god, oh my god...' over and over again. Yes, the zip had got caught, but not on the fabric of the skirt as usual, it had got caught on my skin! And part of my left leg was trapped in the zip! Hence the pain and the yelling! I managed to gently prize my leg out of the zip and it was stinging like a bitch. I lay there for a bit, with my hand over the injured piece of skin, unable to see if it was cut... as it turned out, I don't think it was cut, more just a bit chaffed from being caught, but it was stinging like a bitch! Meanwhile, FT was kneeling on the floor, with her head in her hands saying 'Oh my god, I'm soooooo sorry...' over and over. It was one of them moments out of the 40 year-old virgin. And after the pain had subsided, we could both see the funny side! Anyway, we took the skirt off and carried on, keeping the passion and the romance. She lay me down on the bed, and then lay on top of me, kissing my body, and it started tingling in all the right places again. Just as we were getting back to the place we'd been before the zip incident, FT wispers in my ear 'just relax', and with that, we both started uncontrollably laughing! As let's face it, I had been relaxing when my leg got trapped in the zip, and it was the most silly thing to say given the situation. So we lay there, tears coming to both our eyes with the giggles. It's a testament to our relationship and how comfortable with each other we are that something like that can happen, and then a few minutes later we burst into laughter, and then 5 minutes later still we get back, and more intently to extremely intense passionate love making! By the time the giggling subsided and the intense passion retook its hold, both of us were completely and utterly wanting. As she kissed my neck and my nipples, I grinded into her, I just wanted to feel her. I needed to feel her. However, I think my wriggling and grinding was making life a bit too difficult for her, and she ended up handcuffing my hands to the bed posts so I couldn't move. And I lay there, completely restrained as she gave my body the fullest attention and gave me more than I ever dreamed possible. I had the most fullfilling, amazing orgasm. It seems the more we connect, the better sex gets, the more amazing the orgasms, and the more I want her! It is out of this world! It is so much more than just sex and just an orgasm! It's an experience that could never be achieved or shared with anyone else ever. It's amazing! And then I lie in the arms after she released me from the hancuffs. The safest place in the world. Held there, feeling warm and so loved. I caught my breath and regained the feeling ir at least partly, in my limbs, before focussing all my attention on my lady. I loved feeling her beneath me. I tenderly caressed every inch of her body, feeling her close, holding me tight, pulling me in. It was amazing. Like nothing on earth. There are no words that can explain how amazing it was to make love with her last night after both of us horny and wanting each other all evening. I can't express how amazing it was, and how the connection between us just gets me and consumes me every time, getting stronger and more intense. I know I say it all the time, but it just blows me away, and I just can't find the words! We lay there, FT in my arms, as I held her close, as she recovered, just being with each other and chatting, and just being with each other, as we started to get sleepy and drift off. In the end, I turned over and FT cuddled up behind me, spooning me, and we drifted off into the warmest, most content sleep ever. Ahhhh, bliss! So now today, I'm going to have a wash cos I feel all sleepy now as I'm still in my PJs, and I might go for a bit of a drive in a bit, but I'm not sure. But I am definetely going to settle down in a bit and make a start on the Brokeback Mountain book, and so commence my challenge of the books on the big gay read!