You Are The Weakest Link... Goodbye! No, seriously, FUCK OFF NOW!!!!!
Hee Hee!
Make what you will of the name ;)
But I did end up watching the weakest link last night, as I was in a 'cut off my nose to spite my face mood' as I wanted cuddles and my lady was busy! I only wanted to be cuddled!!!!Am not feeling to grand at the moment to be honest. I'm worried shitless about actually being required to work, as I have no idea what to do, and feel out of my depth! Apart from that, I'm freakishly tired all the god damn time! And if permitted, I could physically sleep all day! Which really isn't a good idea! I feel a bit like that at the moment, so think I might go for a lie down in a bit. The last time I felt this sleepy and could sleep so much was probably at my worst depressed moment ever last year when I had a fall out with my mum as I neglected to tell her I was gay and had a girlfriend as I thought I'd be disowned. So things were arsy, we weren't talking, and all I could do was sleep and be cuddled by my lady. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything in the slightest, but am incredibly tired! Ah well, such is life!
Went out to an open mic night at the union and sat around with some pals and drank coffee and listened to music and stories and things last night... it was cool and made a change! Could have done without the caffeine though to be honest! Probably not a wise idea at 9 o'clock at night! It made my hyper though, and I was alternating from sitting in the cafe with Doofus' bike helmet on my head and randomly doing 'the momkey' which those of you who are fortunate enough to know what that is, will hopefully chuckle at the though! Anyone who doesn't know, then could someone who does know please post a comment to explain, as I'm at a loss of how to explain it! I did also, contribute to some of the musical entertainment with making 'popping' sounds with my finger in my cheek, which fitted perfectly in time with the music, and made my lady, Doofus and Dora chuckle to the extreme! Ahhhh, it was a grand night!
Ooh, that and the fact that I got to ride Doofus' bike! Woo Hoo! (yes, I even screamed 'woo hoo' whilst riding)... it was like being a big flipping kid again!
I also received an email from another of my christian friends from home, 'Dr S', asking how things were going and wanting to catch up. Which brought me down to earth with a bump, as I remembered I still haven;t mentioned the fact that I'm gay to her yet either, and she's the only one of my friends yet to be informed. So then I just felt like shit. That and the fact that my mother keeps creating issues all of her own, as she seems to feel 'deprived' of her daughter somewhat, even though I'm still here, haven't gone anywhere and am a million times happier than I have ever been before in my life, yet keep being pulled in opposite directions. Leaving me to the point of feeling like a crap daughter and a crapper girlfriend and then feeling guilty that my mum's relationship with my nan has gone tits up, so I'm all over the place and don't know what to think, feel or do! And my usual standard I just keep putting off for today until tomorrow, hoping tomorrow won't come for a while... or at least I'll be better prepared when it does! But it never works like that, and time just makes things worse! I think it's called the bains of life... or existance! But then no one is really wants to here about the ins and outs of my intricate family workings, or how I've manipulated situations and fucked things up good and proper over the past 23 years! Yet one there is one thought. One piece of advice from me who is in no position to give advice to anyone, yet feels compelled to share this little bud of wisdom with the world...
We can't change who we are, or the cards we get delt in life, or even change people around us... but it is our own responsibility to do the best we can with the cards life deals us and to make our own happiness! Sitting round on our arses all day feeling sorry for ourselves and wishing life treated us better ain't never achieved anything! Everyone has shit to deal with, and that's exactly what it is... our own shit, and no one elses responsibility to fix it! Ain't never gonna let no shit get the better of me! I'll fight to the end for whatever makes me happy and especially for what makes my lady happy... and heaven help who or whatever stands in the way of that!
Make what you will of the name ;)
But I did end up watching the weakest link last night, as I was in a 'cut off my nose to spite my face mood' as I wanted cuddles and my lady was busy! I only wanted to be cuddled!!!!Am not feeling to grand at the moment to be honest. I'm worried shitless about actually being required to work, as I have no idea what to do, and feel out of my depth! Apart from that, I'm freakishly tired all the god damn time! And if permitted, I could physically sleep all day! Which really isn't a good idea! I feel a bit like that at the moment, so think I might go for a lie down in a bit. The last time I felt this sleepy and could sleep so much was probably at my worst depressed moment ever last year when I had a fall out with my mum as I neglected to tell her I was gay and had a girlfriend as I thought I'd be disowned. So things were arsy, we weren't talking, and all I could do was sleep and be cuddled by my lady. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything in the slightest, but am incredibly tired! Ah well, such is life!
Went out to an open mic night at the union and sat around with some pals and drank coffee and listened to music and stories and things last night... it was cool and made a change! Could have done without the caffeine though to be honest! Probably not a wise idea at 9 o'clock at night! It made my hyper though, and I was alternating from sitting in the cafe with Doofus' bike helmet on my head and randomly doing 'the momkey' which those of you who are fortunate enough to know what that is, will hopefully chuckle at the though! Anyone who doesn't know, then could someone who does know please post a comment to explain, as I'm at a loss of how to explain it! I did also, contribute to some of the musical entertainment with making 'popping' sounds with my finger in my cheek, which fitted perfectly in time with the music, and made my lady, Doofus and Dora chuckle to the extreme! Ahhhh, it was a grand night!
Ooh, that and the fact that I got to ride Doofus' bike! Woo Hoo! (yes, I even screamed 'woo hoo' whilst riding)... it was like being a big flipping kid again!
I also received an email from another of my christian friends from home, 'Dr S', asking how things were going and wanting to catch up. Which brought me down to earth with a bump, as I remembered I still haven;t mentioned the fact that I'm gay to her yet either, and she's the only one of my friends yet to be informed. So then I just felt like shit. That and the fact that my mother keeps creating issues all of her own, as she seems to feel 'deprived' of her daughter somewhat, even though I'm still here, haven't gone anywhere and am a million times happier than I have ever been before in my life, yet keep being pulled in opposite directions. Leaving me to the point of feeling like a crap daughter and a crapper girlfriend and then feeling guilty that my mum's relationship with my nan has gone tits up, so I'm all over the place and don't know what to think, feel or do! And my usual standard I just keep putting off for today until tomorrow, hoping tomorrow won't come for a while... or at least I'll be better prepared when it does! But it never works like that, and time just makes things worse! I think it's called the bains of life... or existance! But then no one is really wants to here about the ins and outs of my intricate family workings, or how I've manipulated situations and fucked things up good and proper over the past 23 years! Yet one there is one thought. One piece of advice from me who is in no position to give advice to anyone, yet feels compelled to share this little bud of wisdom with the world...
We can't change who we are, or the cards we get delt in life, or even change people around us... but it is our own responsibility to do the best we can with the cards life deals us and to make our own happiness! Sitting round on our arses all day feeling sorry for ourselves and wishing life treated us better ain't never achieved anything! Everyone has shit to deal with, and that's exactly what it is... our own shit, and no one elses responsibility to fix it! Ain't never gonna let no shit get the better of me! I'll fight to the end for whatever makes me happy and especially for what makes my lady happy... and heaven help who or whatever stands in the way of that!
posted by doctorlucy @ 4:50 pm
2 Comments:
At 9:37 am,
Anonymous said…
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»
At 1:39 pm,
Anonymous said…
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»
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