Caught the blogging bug!!

Yes, that's right my friends, this has to be like the third entry within a week, which is good for me! Not that I have much in the way to report back, more that I feel the overwhelming compulsion to write a post... so here I am.
I'm fast discovering that actually, I am still a completely emotional wreck. Everything right now just seems a bit 'too much, too soon'. At the minute I'm really caught up with the fact that I'm going away to Dorset with half of my family on Saturday, and I feel like things aren't quite back to normal here yet.
In some ways it feels like FT and I have spent loads of time together since she got back. And we have. We've been together pretty much every day as I'm not working at the moment, but in other ways it feels like it's not been long enough. We're just getting back to some form of normality, and I'm going away for a week to fuck it up!
Well, that's how it feels! Truth is, I never wanted to go away because I didn't want to be away from FT for a week. The words 'yes I'm definetely coming' never actually left my lips. Yes, you can argue that I didn't have the balls to turn round and say I wasn't coming. I didn't want to upset my mum. And she has enough rejection on her plate with my Nan and Aunt being arseholes and stiching her up, and although she makes out it doesn't bother her. I know different. That said, I was banking on the agency to set me up with some work for that week, and I would be off my rocker to turn down some form of work, it's not as though I'm earning a mint. Only sod's fucking law... I start on the Monday after! Now I'm stuck! I really don't want to be away from FT. And now there's beby Spoons! It's like we're a proper family. I tuck her in bed everynight and everything. I can't imagine not having her cuddles throughout the day, or how she comes to me when she wants me to toss her toys for her. I can't imagine not being able to tuck her in bed for a week! You probably think I'm stupid, and that it's 'just a dog'. But she's not... she's our little baby! As if missing just one of them isn't bad enough, I get it two fold now!
What if they don't miss me? They have each other now. It's not as though they'll be lonely. And Spoons will love and give kisses to anyone who plays with her.
I had my phone sorted out today, so that it can recieve picture messages. I really hope I get sent lots of pictures of both of them.
I'm sick of feeling torn in two. I just can't wait to get this week over and done with, and that's it then. No more!
I just feel emotionally drained, and it doesn't take much for the tears to set in! Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something a bit more positive to post!