What's in the word... immunity?!

I'm asking that question, because I just don't seem to have an immune system! I cannot begin to count how many times I have been ill in the past three months alone, let alone longer than that!
Yep, I am ill with another sodding cold again! And that is making for a very blunt and frank post... so read on at your peril!

I'm sick of feeling ill... that came on yesterday! I was feeling a little bit rough when I woke up, but thought it might be one of those things that gets better as the day progresses. That was true until it came to bedtime last night. I had to get up for work this morning, so needed a fairly early night. Then I was begining to wish I hadn't agreed to work, I was feeling like pants.
I wouldn't mind just being ill and having a cold, but I seem to have this sickness feeling with it too, whereby I feel sick most of the time, am producing loads of wind (bearing in mind I have an inability to burp without reaching), so I've been a little bit sick on and off since last night.
I was just off to the toilet last night, to bring up my dinner when FT was on her way to bed. At that point, so much for an early night, I was awake! I felt surprisingly better when I returned to bed, and I was lying there having cuddles with FT. The world seems so much better when I'm in her arms!

What happened next, I can't really explain. There is something about that woman, that even when I'm feeling rough or completely incapacitated, that I just can't keep my hands off of her! At any given opportunity, my hands are all over her... and last night was no exception! The connection we share is out of this world! I know it's probably a bit of a cliché, but what we share is really like something you see on the films! I never in a million years thought it was possible to feel or experience anything like this! There just aren't the words to describe it! And then you wonder why I can't keep my hands off of her!
After our incredible love making session, in the wee hours of this morning (so much for the early night) FT drifted off to sleep and was merrily snooring her head off whilst I was trying to send myself into the land of slumber.

And when I left for work this morning, she was still in the land of snooze!
Work itself today was OK, apart from the fact that I've felt like crap, and have felt sick all day! And I still do! My patience is at a low, because there is a million and one things I want to do, yet I feel compromised because I can't breathe properly, I feel sick, and my nose is red and sore! IT'S CRAP!!!!!
And I got stuck in 'rush hour' traffic on the way home from work, at sodding 3:30 in the afternoon because of the fucking England world cup match!!! I thought I was going to puke in my car! And I HATE how Sheffield is a bastard city for traffic! Sometimes it feels like this city can't cope with more than 10 cars on the road at any one time!

Oh, and the worst part? I have low self-esteem at the best of times, yet when I have a cold, I feel all disgusting and incredibly un-sexy, regardless of whether I'm horny or not!

It's crap, isn't it?!

Finally!!!!

OK, so the delay between my posting has been due to the fact that we've been unable to access any webpages associated with Blogger. At first we thought the site was experiencing difficulties, and then we thought it was our ISP again.
However, it seems now... problem resolved!!!
One of FT's best friends was consulting with her on MSN just a few minutes ago, and she recommended that we unplug our router to reset it and then plug it back in again, and that should fix the problem.
AND HERE WE ARE!!! Yep, it worked! As sceptical as I was, it actually worked! Bearing in mind, this is after I sent another email to NTL asking them to sort out the problem!
Guess I look dead silly now!
But huge thanks and hugs Hai-Man... you're a true legend!!!

All in All... a Busy Weekend!!!

I've seriously had crabby-itis the past few days! It's been a mixture of a lot of things actually. Primarily the fact that I'm hormonal and pre-menstrual, which generally promotes moods and high emotions. I've found myself in the usual catch 22 situation, where the only thing that would make me feel better is lots of love from my lady, but I've been a complete bitch, and seemingly impossible to love, so she's hardly inclined to be nice to me when I'm being a bitch... which made my moods worse. God I can be a cow sometimes!
I've spent a fair bit of time over the past few days creating a Blogger account for my lady, and designing her blog for her, as she too has converted to the dark side and determined that livejournal is crap in comparison. The only trouble with Blogger is that a lot of the designing features don't work with her screen reading software, which made it pretty inaccessible. But I knew she really wanted a Blogger account, so I spent some time and got it all up and running for her, and have agreed to undertake any maintenance she wants with it. I made my young lady very happy!!!
We embarked on a trip to the cinema on Friday evening to watch 'United 93', the film about the only plane on September 11th not to hit it's target. My advice is it's a film that everyone should see, whatever you think, but it is one of them films that really makes you think for days after. It had my lady in tears right at the end. And I think I speak for both of us when I say there were things what the film showed to have happened on that day that just didn't get publicised over here in the UK. I thought it was an extremely sad film. And that hit me more after the film that at the end or during it to be honest, when it just brought out anger and rage more than any other emotion. I suppose the rest just hit me afterwards. We had a similar terrorist attempt in London almost a year ago now, when FT and I were in Cyprus, with tubes and buses blown up by suicide bombers. All my family is in London, and FT's friends are there too, so we were just panicked with worry when we heard the reports on the news, and phoned everyone we knew right away. Plus we're going to Tunisia a week today, so it makes you think.
But aside from all of that, was the fact that she's going to Africa in July, with like three flights each way. I know it sounds stupid, but I worry less when we're together. We're meant to be together, and as pathetic as it might sound, I feel as though if I'm there, I can protect her.
I got like no sleep on Friday night. I was worried shitless about if something were to happen to her in Africa, and having to carry on without her. It had me waking up in cold sweats with tears in my eyes, looking over to check she's still there! I know there's more chance of me getting killed while out driving than anything happening to FT in Africa or whatever, but there is no logic to fear!
I don't understand love me! And I think I'll spend my life trying to figure it out! But one thing's for sure... I do know that when you've met your soulmate, the thought of ever being without them kills you inside!
I'm getting worse now, as it's less than a month till she goes away, so as each day passes I feel a bit more uptight, and a bit more worried and a bit more lost at the thought of being without her. Which is so damn frustrating, cos things are so good at the moment! I don't wanna fuck it up cos I'm feeling hyper emotional!

The past couple of days we've had FT's Uncle, Aunt and two kids up. And, to be fair, we've spent most of the weekend in the park! We have the gorgeous beby hound, who we're puppy-sitting for FT's Dad, with us for a week and a half, so it was nice to knacker him out by walking in the park and throwing balls for him to fetch. Not all of the enjoyment was had by walking the dog though, as our park across the road from our house has THE most amazing playground! And we reverted back to kid status (even FT's uncle), swinging on this giant 'A-frame' thing, and on a stand-up see-saw, as well as the swings... and I have a very funny video clip on my phone of FT trying to climb a kiddie's climbing wall! There was amusement all around, and fun was had by all! I'm not sure, but I think I might be making a good impression with the future in-laws! Finger's crossed!
We also all settled down and watched 'Elf' on DVD! It might not be christmas, but it is always a great film! And contrary to what she always thought, FT sat there in fits of laughter herself! I knew she'd love it if she gave it a chance!
I managed to get myself some brownie points with FT as well, as on a trip out to get some bread, I managed to track down some Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream - which she loves and was unable to get at the cinema on Friday! I know what she likes!

Apart from that, I've spent the day catching up on my blog, and backdating it with all the livejournal posts which are now archived, so I'm very pleased with that!
And I've just had a call from my lady on her shift, when she shouldn't have been calling me... but she made my day! And ever since I've been grinning from ear to ear!
God I'm in love!!!
And it's great!!!!!
-x-

The Morning After...

Well, I'm up and awake at a reasonable hour, while my lady is blissfully sleeping! The alarm went off at 8am, and after 40 minutes of snoozing it, I knew if I went back to sleep, I'd feel worse for it later!
Someone on the other hand, hardly stirred when the alarm went off, except to tell me that she couldn't keep her eyes open! I would be slightly frustrated, as we agreed to get up at a reasonable hour, was she not so damn adorable when asleep! I lay next to her for a while, just watching her sleep, and using all my restraint not to keep kissing her. When that got too much, I decided to get up and faff for a bit, knowing I'd be in bother for disturbing my sleeping beauty when she's so knackered.

I ended up picking up a moderately tipsy Kim and FT from the Lion's Lair (local gay pub, which is ace) last night after closing time. And I was informed that she's had two creamy chocolate cocktails, a Smirnoff ice and an Archer's Aqua. It's amazing she wasn't sick really, as the creamy cocktails are extremely sickly (and I've only ever had a sip of one). Thankfully there were no accidents though! She seemed to have a good night though, maybe this will cure the space thing for a while.
I on the other hand, am still pre-menstrual, and still feeling highly emotonal. Bugger and fuck!

My beautiful lady has now awoken, so I'm off to make her a cup of tea to cure any signs of a hangover she might have, as I want her fully functional so we can go shopping to Lakeside Village in Doncaster today - never been before so it should be an experience!
And later on, we're awaiting the arrival of FT's Dad, who is bringing the lovely Beby Hound to stay for a week or so! It'll be sooooooo cool to have him to stay again... it seems like forever ago he was last here!
-x-